Samokritika: An audio excerpt from My Mother’s Secret by Alina Adams

In this audio excerpt, Regina, who recently fled Joseph Stalin's Great Purge for the Jewish Autonomous State of Birbidzhan, faces samokritika, a form of self-criticism in Marxist-Leninist ideology used to publicly interrogate and expose those with counter-revolutionary ideas. In this scene Regina struggles between her desire to show loyalty to the Communist ideals and her affection for Aaron, a man who chooses reason over ideals.

Text of the Excerpt

Chapter Eleven

Regina needed to convince her detractors she was not a source of disruption, but a productive and useful member of the collective. As Comrade Marx wrote: It will be the workers, with their courage, resolution and self-sacrifice, who will be responsible for achieving victory.

Felix presented her with a golden opportunity when he opened their subsequent meeting with the words, “We all want Birobidzhan to be better. The way to make Birobidzhan better is to make ourselves better. The purpose of samokritika is to confess what is keeping us back from becoming the ideal citizens the Union of Soviet Socialist Republic demands. Our words not only purge ourselves, they are an inspiration for others. The success of Birobidzhan depends on all citizens speaking with one voice, thinking with one mind, living with one purpose. We cannot reach the same destination, if we embark on different paths. Opposition is obstruction. Dissent is disruption. Individuality is insurgency.”

He wasn’t yelling. Felix spoke in a low, soothing voice. Regina already agreed with all he had to say. Even if she hadn’t, this speech would have convinced her. A boat could never move forward if all on board were rowing in different directions. If one bad apple ruined the bunch, then what sort of damage could one dissenter do in a community? They lived on such a fine margin, if just one comrade slowed down their work and didn’t pull their weight, it could plunge them all into starvation. Didn’t the collective deserve to know who among them might be harboring plans to hinder the harvest? Of course, they had to know about it ahead of time. What good did it do to learn about the undermining after the fact? Innocent until proven guilty may have been fine for Americans, who already starved their workers and hoarded the spoils of production. They could fight it out, dog eats dog style, among the elite. In the USSR, where everyone was entitled to their fair share of resources, it was up to citizens to make sure everyone contributed equally, and to punish those who shirked their duties. 

The words were barely out of Felix’s mouth before a young man popped up from his seat to declare, “This is my second season in Amerzut and, as the weather grows rainier, I have found myself questioning the wisdom of establishing a Jewish Autonomous Region in such inhospitable weather conditions. Please forgive me.”

He was followed immediately by a girl Regina’s age, admitting, “I am jealous that some live in houses while others are relegated to sharing barracks, when I should be grateful for the JAR providing me with a roof over my head and food to eat.”

Others quickly followed suit:

“I complained about no days off during the planting season, when I know the earth takes no days off, why should we?”

“I failed to keep a comrade from abandoning the JAR.”

“I was accidentally served a second helping of soup and did not draw attention to the error, taking more than my share.”

“My daughter was friendly with a Korean boy, and I did not report it.”

“My mother says we were better off before we came here!”

The samokritika went on and on, one admission triggering another until it became a contest of who could abnegate themselves more. Regina wanted to join. She wasn’t perfect. She could stand to confess her crimes against the state and become a better person for it. And yet, despite the hysteria whipping around her, she held back. The reason for it was the same as Regina’s would-be disclosure: She wanted people to like her.

It was a terrible, individualistic, non-Socialist, selfish objective. Still, Regina wanted Felix to like her. She wanted her roommates to like her. She wanted her comrades to like her. And she wanted Aaron to like her.

That last was the most galling. And the most embarrassing. Regina told herself what she meant was she wanted to obtain Aaron’s trust and respect so she could best understand his intentions and convey any troubling ones to Felix. The truth, when she dared admit it to herself, was she simply wanted Aaron to like her. Especially after she’d gone out of her way to try and implement his agriculture proposal. Without making it look like that’s what she was doing. She hadn’t expected gratitude. Though gratitude would have been nice. So would acknowledgement. But she’d expected some kind of response. Beyond shooting her down. She knew her proposal wasn’t as good as his. But it wasn’t as bad as Felix’s. Shouldn’t that count for something? 

Her next suggestion, Regina decided, would do the trick. It would prove to everyone how invested she was in Birobidzhan’s successful future. And it would impress Aaron, too.

Regina waited for Felix to open the floor to new business before she raised her hand and stood up, conscious of being the center of attention, aware she was enjoying it though she knew she shouldn’t. She said, “When I was at University in Moscow,” she put that in to make herself sound important, though she knew she shouldn’t, “we studied the work of Trofim Lysenko. With Comrade Stalin, they have modernized Soviet agriculture along the principles of Marxism. As a Socialist environment shapes a man, it shapes animals and plants. Comrade Lysenko advises we put seeds into freezing water. In this manner, they grow accustomed to the cold and can be planted at any time of the year. Furthermore, seeds produced from that first, cold-resistant crop, retain the memory of their forebears, and don’t need to be treated again in order to continue the successful pattern. Following his philosophies, Comrade Lysenko promises we will soon be able to group any crop anywhere, even oranges in Siberia!”

“Nonsense.” A voice boomed from the back. Regina didn’t need to turn to know who it was. “Such logic is the equivalent of saying stabbing a woman in the eye causes her to give birth to a blind child.”

“Comrade Kramer.” Felix smiled at the interruption. “You are an expert in genetics? You purport to know more than the USSR’s top agronomist?”

“I know what happened when his theories were implemented in the Ukraine.”

The Holodomor, again. Regina remembered what Felix told her months ago about Aaron using lies regarding how that famine came about to discredit any policy he disagreed with.

“So you, like the American scientist, Hermann Mueller, believe our lives are run by utter random, natural selection? You deny the Marxist-Leninist principle of revolutionary biologic development? Mr. Mueller and his fruit flies were graciously invited to defend themselves at the Leningrad Institute of Genetics. He was sent packing in disgrace after Comrade Lysenko proved his Darwinism to be capitalist, imperialist fascism. The West deliberately pushes their false theory of gradual change to keep the USSR from out-producing them and demonstrating the superiority of our Soviet system. We know evolution can be manipulated to create a superior result. We can do it with man, we can do it with animal, we can certainly do it with seed.”

You can’t do it with Aaron, Regina thought. She believed in science. She believed in Comrade Lysenko. She believed in Felix. She believed in Marxism. She believed you could make summer crops grow in the winter, even oranges in Siberia, and she believed they were in the process of creating the ideal Socialist man. But she did not believe Aaron Kramer could be turned into anything he didn’t want to be.

It was an absolutely terrifying thought. What if there were more Aaron Kramers out there? The Soviet Union couldn’t achieve its Socialist goals without every citizen agreeing to them—like they couldn’t pass any measure unless the vote was unanimous, it would be undemocratic. Unbending men like Aaron Kramer would be the death of the USSR.

And yet, through her terror, Regina couldn’t help thinking that unbending men like Aaron Kramer would also be the ones to save them.

Which made no sense at all.

“Let’s take a vote!” Felix announced like his exchange with Aaron had never happened.

Something else which made no sense at all: Aaron’s hand was the first one up.

“Why would he do that?” Regina asked later as she helped Felix and Klara finalize the list of those who had spoken at the samokritika, so that they might be disciplined.

“Because he knew he was beaten,” Felix proclaimed.

Regina would have liked to believe that was true. It would have made everything simple. Except she knew their situation was anything but.


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Colin Mustful is the founder and editor of History Through Fiction, an independent press dedicated to publishing historical narratives rooted in factual events and compelling characters. A celebrated author and historian whose novel “Reclaiming Mni Sota” recently won the Midwest Book Award for Literary/Contemporary/Historical Fiction, Mustful has penned five historical novels that delve into the complex eras of settler-colonialism and Native American displacement. Combining his interests in history and writing, Mustful holds a Master of Arts in history and a Master of Fine Arts in creative writing. Residing in Minneapolis, Minnesota, he enjoys running, playing soccer, and believes deeply in the power of understanding history to shape a just and sustainable future.

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